LayGuy

At times, I feel like a monster. My public facade is one thing.  My true reality is miles away. Deep down I know the man that I am.  And the man that I am is not the man I want to be.

I find myself hiding behind many masks – some to protect me from others.  Others to make me come across as a person who has it all together.

But deep down, I know there is nothing in me that makes me worthy of anything – especially in the eyes of God.  This is not about self bashing or self pity.  But more of an honest self reflection and evaluation.  And when I do this, I resonate so deeply with what Scripture says in Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

I don’t care about human pride and arrogance which so wants to fight against this statement – because it’s a losing battle if one was honest with himself.  Even if I try to raise above the storm in my heart and try to live a good life, I fall desperately short.  Any attempt to live a morally pleasing life in God’s sight is akin to being a walking tampon…

“We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.” Isa 64:6

God gave me a conscience which, although is fallen, still knows what is good and right.  And this conscience searches me – even at the best of times – and reports back that I am a mess..

“For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?” 1 Cor 2:11

Oh yeah, my spirit knows my thoughts and my actions and it knows that on my own merits – even in the best of times, falls hopelessly short of anything that’s good and right.  A walking tampon is such an accurate description of who I am as a person in the eyes of God.

A monster – deserving fully the assault of God’s wrath.  And in part, this is why I really connect with the Christian band Skillet and their new song called “Monster”.  Check it out below and the lyrics can be found at the bottom of this post.

I guess this shows why grace is such a gift.  I’m not going to be judged according to how good I am or the monster inside of me.  My walking tampon of a life is buried, accounted for and hidden in the death of my Savour – Jesus Christ.

Thank you Jesus.  Thank you so much for being the Person I could never be.  Thank you that my worth is not based on me.  But because of what You did and what you accomplished, Your worth is imputed onto me.

You leave me speechless.

Skillet | Monster lyrics

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it

It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can’t control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
‘Cause if I let him out he’ll tear me up, break me down
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It’s hiding in the dark, it’s teeth are razor sharp
There’s no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it’s just a dream
Maybe it’s inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it’s just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I’ve gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Every now and then, I come across a story or a video which really strikes a cord in me.  The following clip is about a 16 year old boy getting murdered in a street fight.  Pastor Justin Cox from Passion For Christ talks about the opportunity that was lost to speak Jesus into the life of this boy.

What gets to me is that we live such busy and pathetic lives that we don’t have the time we need to get the message of the Gospel out there to a dying world that so desperately needs it.

In a day and age where it’s almost the “in” thing to make a mockery of the concept of God, comes a great little music video making its rounds all over the place. I first saw it at Ray Ortland’s blog who saw it at Josh Harris’s blog and now I want it shown here.

Society love’s poking fun at the notion of “God” and a belief in Him.  That is until hard times hit and it becomes the norm to “pray to God” etc to get us out of the mess.  What a sorry lot we humans are!

That’s why I so like the following little clip from song writer Regina Spektor.  Don’t know much about her really but according to Wikipedia, she is a Russian Jewish immigrant who grew up in New York.

But the lyrics to her song “Laughing With” capture beautifuly the pathetic nature in which mankind as a whole interacts with God.  Hope you enjoy and lyrics are below.

“Laughing With” Lyrics:

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God when it’s gotten real late and their kid’s not back from that party yet

No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else and they hope that they’re mistaken
No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say “We’ve got some bad new, sir,”
No one’s laughing at God when there’s a famine, fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they’re about to choke

God can be funny
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’ve lost all they got and they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party while listening to a good God-themed joke or
Or when the crazies say he hates us and they get so red in the head you think that they’re about to choke

God can be funny
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie
Who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus

God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one’s laughing at God in a hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war

No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

Laughing With by Regina Spektor from the album Far

I’m looking forward to the next sermon series @ Mars Hill Church.  I dig the whole Bible but it’s something about the Gospels that grabs me like nothing else.

So when one of my favourite teachers is doing a sermon series on the Gospel of Luke, this kind of makes my day.

And as an added bonus, the series will contain a tonne of footage from Driscoll’s recent trip to Israel. I had the privilege of touring Israel back in 1998 and it seems as if a part of me never left that place and is still wondering around.  For those of you who have visited, I bet this resonates with you – reading your Bible is simply never the same again.

To actually be in the places the Bible talks about, to view the landscape, to sail the seas, to experience the climate, to taste the cuisines and to gaze upon the same buildings and trees and rivers that Biblical characters experienced is life changing.

An example of this is the following short video of Driscoll at what is believed to be Peter’s house in Capernaum..

So do yourself a favour and head on over to Mars Hill Church and check out the series on Luke – it all begins on September 20.   Download the free 32 page PDF Introduction to Luke here.  And finally, have a watch of this video as Driscoll walks down a street in Jerusalem – I assume it’s David Street – and introduces the sermon series.

I’m really getting a lot out of listening to podcasts these days.  Being stuck in peak hour traffic is actually something I don’t mind as it gives me the chance to spend time listening to the Word and the discussion of it.

I love expository teaching as it forces the preacher to focus on the topics brought up in the text instead coming up with things himself.

And when it comes to books in the Bible, I particularly love the Gospels as they contain the words and actions of the One the whole book is built upon.

So these days I’m being blessed to enjoy the podcasts of three preachers covering three different Gospels.  In order of the Gospels, these are:

John MacArthur – Mark

John MacArthur is the Lead Pastor at Grace Community Church.  His ministry is extensive and is captured at Grace To You – an awesome website which contains his Pulpit podcast and includes an expository on the Gospel of Mark.

Matt Chandler – Luke

Matt is the Lead Pastor at The Village Church.  Their podcast includes Matt’s expository teaching on the Gospel of Luke.  Matt has been teaching on Luke for a long time and promises to complete it soon.  Take your time brother!

Mark Jurisic – John

Mark is my friend and Lead Pastor at my local church – CityWest Church.  Mark planted CityWest Church over 7 years ago and delivers sermon after sermon about His hero – Jesus Christ.  Our podcast currently features an expository on the Gospel of John.

Anyone know of a great expository on Matthew?