LayGuy

Below is my brother’s writings on the recent teenage suicides in Melbourne, Australia. As a practicing Psychologist, I find his insight into the situation sobering and a source of practical help to anyone caring for a potential suicidal person…

The news of two missing 16 year old school girls raised concerns for me as I watched the morning news before work. My mind quickly jumped to eventually hearing of their bodies being found due to foul play being the cause of death. The news that their bodies were found was terrible; that suicide was the cause of death was shocking.

This week’s Saturday Age published an article about the secret world of teenagers, describing the culture blamed for these girls’ deaths – emo. Short for emotional, adherents to the emo culture ascribe to a histrionic personality type and music style that is generally introspective, lonely, misunderstood and depressed.

The newspaper article noted that students from the school that these girls attended varied in their opinion about whether the emo culture could be blamed for their suicide. Other relevant issues were also discussed including parental supervision of the Internet.

As a practicing psychologist involved in assessments of self-harm, suicidality and mental illness, I am only too familiar with how common these issues have become in our time. The Saturday Age notes that 2100 Australians suicide each year. Many more self-harm with no deliberate intent to suicide. The number who think about suicide are unable to be counted. What is clear, however, is that what we see and hear about is only the tip of the iceberg.

The tragedy of these girl’s suicide inevitably raises concerns, especially amongst parents, about identifying signs that may suggest that their son or daughter is at risk of suicide, or may be engaging in self-harming behaviour. Unfortunately, teenage behaviour is difficult to understand and therefore predict. There is a fine line between overreacting to normal teenager behaviour, and missing signs of pain, loneliness and the risk of self-harm and suicide.

The warning signs of self-harm and suicide can include, but are not limited to, the following changes which are uncharacteristic of the person:

- signs of scratches or razor marks on the body (especially wrists)

- preferring to wear long sleeves to cover marks

- appearing sad, depressed or miserable for weeks at a time

- lacking pleasure in previously enjoyable activities

- withdrawal and isolation

- talking about morbid themes including death, dying, the afterlife, and the meaning of life

- talking about life being hopeless, that there is no point in living, or not wanting to live

- talking about suicide, wanting to die to kill themselves

Anyone, however especially teenagers, who are found to exhibit such signs may be at risk. The addition of drug and/or alcohol use increases their risk significantly.

So what do you do?

1. Many teenagers live in a very secret world, often misunderstood by adults and even peers. A bridge needs to be built in order to reach them. Leave aside any bitterness about previous problem behaviours which can create unnecessary friction. In order for them to feel safe enough to divulge their problems, teenagers need to be able to trust that the other person has their best interests in mind.

2. Ask about whether they have been experiencing problems. Listen, listen and listen. Be slow to speak, listen until you can begin understand why they feel the way they do and empathize with their circumstances. Validate problems. Although these may seem trivial or minor to adults, teenagers are greatly impacted by issues related to identity and acceptance, so issues about friendships, perceptions by peers and involvement in groups are important.

3. Ask directly about suicide. It is a myth that saying the “s” word puts the thought into people’s minds. If one feels so dejected even of life itself, they would have already conjured up the thoughts of suicide before anyone else has mentioned it. Simply asking the question in a non-judgment way often helps the person feel relieved that they can share their burden.

4. Ask about reasons for why they would not want to suicide, i.e. their reasons for living. Identifying these “protective factors” can help in creating ambivalence and reaching for goals in their lives which can take their focus from problems to a more positive future.

5. If they have thoughts about suicide, gently aim to elicit details which give you an idea about how serious the situation has become. Ask whether they feel able to control such thoughts, about whether they have thought how they would do it, have they made preparations or given a time frame, do they have access to means etc. The more thought and preparation one has put into their plan, the more serious the situation is.

6. Based on the information obtained above, a decision needs to be made about urgency of help. This can vary from a verbal agreement with the person at risk that

they will not harm themselves and attend a helper, to contacting emergency services for immediate assistance. Of course, having the teenager agree to get help would be ideal and can be achieved by providing a supportive, non-judgmental and caring environment. However when the risk is high and one becomes antagonistic and uncooperative, calling emergency services can be the only option.

7. Aim to get linked in with appropriate telephone or direct supports in your local area. The following are relevant services for residents of Melton and surrounding suburbs. Call anytime, any day.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide Helpline: 1300 651 251

Local Area Mental Health Service: 1300 859 764

Djerriwarrh Health Services Counseling: 8746 1100

Melton Medical Centre Counseling: 9743 5600

Scott Street Medical Centre Counseling: 9743 1970

Melton Council Youth Outreach Service: 9747 7200

Staughton College Counseling: 9743 4622

Kurunjang College Counseling: 9743 9211

Victoria University Melton Campus Student Services: 9919 2399

Private counselors and psychologists can be found under their relevant headings in the Yellow Pages.

Emergency 000
suicide, advice