LayGuy

I want to update you all as to an appointment with a specialist today regarding my medical condition. I found out today that one of my doctors has concluded that I was raped on that night eleven years ago. In his letter to yet another specialist investigating my condition, he concludes that I was sexually assaulted.

My heart is racing ahead right now. My eyes are welling a little here. I have spoken a number of times with my wife and friends and my doctors that I don’t care if I was raped but I have second thoughts here right now.

I am angry if this is the case. My life sucks on a medical level. All because some idiots couldn’t get their rocks off in the “normal” way. And because of this, my life hurts in so many ways.

I am crying right now because I reflect on how this impacts on the most important areas in my life - my God, my wife, my children.

My God - because I question.

My wife - because I neglect.

My children - because I cant be the dad I so want to be.

However…

I will rise up - in the Name of Jesus. To Jesus, nothing is impossible. He suffered so much more than I could ever imagine. He knows, without a shadow of doubt, what I am going through. His Word is sitting here next to me.

My Lord, help me to give myself to you…completely. You are the Master Physician. You knit me to be the person I am. The enemy has tried to kill me, to steal me and utterly destroy me. He has done a good job but to You I look for healing. The power manifested in you to raise You from the dead is the power available to me right now. Oh Lord, help me to understand this in my life. Show to me that this is real. More real than anything else in my life. Not theory. Not religion. But REAL! As real as the screen as I look into right now.

Lord you promise an abundant life! An eternal life here on earth. I don’t need to wait for the next age. Your eternal life is here and now - eternity intruding into now. As You did to Elisha, help me to see this now my Lord. Destroy in me which blocks me to see this.

I know this was prayed in the Name of Jesus because it is prayed in the Name of what he stood for. To set the captives free. And I know that I and many of you reading this are in the same boat. So let us chose the Name of Jesus - to set the captives free.

Assaulted, Rape, Medical, Prayer